God is faithful.

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God is faithful. 

God is faithful. 

God is faithful.

i'm reading through the nehemiah she reads truth plan right now, and those three words are on repeat in my head. 

God is faithful. 

i just finished chapter nine, which is pretty much this huge list of things the israelites did wrong, and a list of all the ways God was faithful. 

even when they kept on doing things wrong. 

it amazed me really. 

how on earth, after all they did, could He be faithful?

they lost trust in Him, they made false idols, they turned their back on Him, they were blasphemous. 

but God...loved them. and kept them safe. He parted the red sea. He didn't let them get lost in the wilderness. He gave them the ten commandments (for them to later break them all). He guided their path. He gave them offspring. He gave them the Spirit of truth. 

and yet they forgot all of that, and turned (multiple times) to their own selfish greed. 

nehemiah is all about trust in God. the whole book is a constant reminder of what a reward trusting in God is. that no matter what, God is faithful. 

i started the plan not really knowing all that much, ok i didn't know anything about nehemiah, but have felt like God wrote it just for me. 

i'm in a season where trusting in God is all i have. 

trusting that this leap of faith i took will pay off. 

and. 

i can tell you it has already. 

in three shorts weeks since i "jumped", i've booked two sessions, and a wedding. 

GOD IS FAITHFUL.

LIKE REALLY REALLY FAITHFUL. 

ALL THE TIME. 

i'm not sure where you are today, or what season He has you in. but i can promise, that no matter what, He is faithful. that He will bring you through. and holy cow is it worth the wait. 

God is faithful. 

say it with me now. 

**also. the sweet comments you all leave me are not being emailed to me. if anyone knows how to fix this please let me know!**

two weeks.

if you've been reading my blog lately then you've caught onto these hints i've been dropping about something big going on in my life.
and i'll say for the last time, no it's not a baby yet.

i finally get to tell you.

ready?

after four and a half years, i quit my job serving tables.
ok really, i put in my two weeks. but still.
come june 1st i'll no longer be serving tables.

{here's where you can cheer for me}

it's been a huge desion for me {and sonny} to make.

you see, i have this dream, and passion for photography.
and it's a huge dream. to make it my profession.

and i'm also a comfortable kind of girl.
i like things to be comfortable.

within my reach.

the last couple of months i've been praying a lot. praying that if this whole photography thing is what the Lord has for me, then He'll make the way for me.

and then i read "you're made for a God-sized dream" by holley gerth.
which i'm giving away! check out the last post!

and so i prayed some more.
i was beyond encouraged to read that book. it seriously felt like i had this little cheerleader. her words let God speak to me.

the thought...or maybe He straight up just told me...to quit my job and pursue this dream full time.

crazy i know.

i responded with, "are you crazy?!"
quit my job?
and then do what about money?

again, this is one of those moments that i know God was looking down and just smiling saying, "oh megan"

i prayed. and prayed. and prayed.

and then talked to sonny.
who asked me what took so long to come to this conclusion.

and then i had coffee with my sweet friend mary. i seriously can't even begin to tell you what an encouragement our conversation was. and half way through the conversation i knew, i just knew, i was making the right choice in following this dream. her words were spoken at that moment, for such a huge reason.

and so i put a date on it.
june 1st.

the last month has flown by and i can not believe that it's almost here.

when i said i was the comfortable girl i meant it.
i like things to be with in my reach. i'm also a control freak. which maybe is a better name for this situation.

i like to plan things out. know what's next.

and now?

well now i have no idea what's going to happen.

i won't have a job.

we may end up eating cereal for dinner every night.

but it's a risk i'm willing to take.
it's a risk my husband is taking with me.

i don't believe that God places these huge dreams and passions on our hearts for us to wait for them to happen.

sometimes we just have to take a giant leap of faith.
we have to turn to God and say, "ok, here i go. i trust you."

i really really trust you.

yes. there are times when i think i'm doing the wrong thing.
but then i pray. and i'm not kidding when i tell you that the peace of God rushes to my heart.

i was created for so much more than what i'm doing right now.

what no eye has seen, 

what no ear has heard

and what no human mind has conceived, 

these things God has prepared for those who love Him. 

1 corinthians 2:9

i love Jesus so much. and i know that this plan He has for my life is so much more than i'll ever be able to understand. but i'm ready to go. i'm ready to take this huge leap.

because if we're being honest here.

i've never, ever, done anything like this before.
i've never just taken a jump and said, "catch me Lord!"

i've always played it safe.

so here i go. jumping, and putting 100% of my trust in Him. because that's the point isn't it? to trust God with our whole lives. not just the parts we have a handle on.

i'm so excited, and nervous. and ready.

i'm chasing after this dream.
and ready for this adventure.

trust and His patience

can i be honest here?
sometimes i wonder how God puts up with me.

seriously. there are times when i whine and complain so much about things that i can only imagine what's going on in heaven.
i bet they all gather around and get popcorn to watch the "megan meltdown of the month" (because if we can be honest again, that's how often it happens).
maybe it's a movie night for them.

and then at the end i bet they (when i say they i mean God and Jesus and all the other cool kids in heaven) sit around and remark about how easily i give up on things. and how if i had only had a little bit more trust in Him that i would be ok.

because honestly, sometimes it's hard to not have things go my way exactly when i want them too.

and i have no idea where i get it from.

i was raised to know better than to just throw a fit at 23 about something not working out the way i want it to. my parents never raised me to think that i could and will get everything i want. growing up (and still now) i'm taught by my parents to know that if i want something, i have to work at it. nothing is supposed to be a walk in the park.

so where am i getting this spoiled brat attitude? where am i getting the idea that life is supposed to be handed to me on a silver platter?

my answer.

society.

that whole discussion is for another post, but short version: when did we become a society that things everything is ours for the taking when ever we want?

this is where i'm wondering how on earth God has the amount of patience He does for His people...me especially.

time after time i find myself throwing this pity party, because something didn't go according to my plan. but thankfully my Father in Heaven has patience with me, to see me through the problem and make it better.

this past monday i had made an appointment to meet with a graduation advisor (i'm scheduled to be done with UCF in december). i talked to the nice lady who recommended that for tuesdays meeting i print out my degree audit (has all the class i've taken and what i need to take blah blah).

so i go online and print it out.

while it's printing i noticed this ugly red - sign next to a class that i already took.
i wondered what the heck was going on because i took the class and got a c (not my best performance obviously, but i hated the class).

so i go and look at all my grades.

and that's when i see that annoying - sign next to the C for the class.

here's what you need to know: i already registered for fall classes. i was set to graduate in december. 

my stomach dropped. and the tears came flowing out of my eyes.
i sat there staring at that (insert choice word here) minus sign, which is really a couple of points when it comes down to it, wondering how the heck this thing came to be in the way of my graduation.

a couple of points would prevent me from graduating.

here's what i didn't do initially. 
pray. 

seriously. i was so beyond mad i can't even begin to explain to you. i wasn't mad at God, no i was mad at everyone else. the professor for putting the C there, my advisor for not brining it up...but of course i didn't put myself in there at all.
oh no, i didn't earn that C-, someone else must have.

i spent the remainder of the night as grumpy as imaginable.

and then came tuesday.

i spoke with the nice graduation lady about the little pickle i was in, and she kindly directed me to my advisor (it's like a cat and mouse game in college with advisors and trying to get something done, let's just be honest here).

so that's when i wrote this begging and pleading email to my advisor about what a bone head i am.

and that's when it hit me.

no one else had received that C- just me. 
i put forth so little effort for the class so i totally deserved the grade i got.

and this is when i got my head out of my rear end and prayed.

i had read that morning romans 12:12 which paul tells us to

be joyful in hope; 

patient in affliction, 

and faithful in prayer. 

oh. pray.

so i did.

i begged God to forgive me for being a brat, and to have His hand in the situation. i told Him that i trusted His will for my life.

but if we can be honest again, i'm not sure i believed it.

the thing was, is that if i did get into the class, it would be a tuesday/thursday class which would mean i would have to drive over to orlando 5 days a week.
it's an hour drive.
gas waste much?

so of course i started to panic over money.

when was i supposed to work?
how could we afford school and all the gas?

and then came today.

i received an email from my advisor informing me that she could "over ride" me into the class.

i thanked God.

i then quickly went to register for the class. all set.

and then i thought, for the heck of it, let's just see if my monday/wednesday/friday class is available for tuesday and thursday (ps, i had checked a million times before and it wasn't).

i hit "search" to see that there was 

ONE SEAT LEFT IN THE CLASS FOR TUESDAY AND THURSDAY. 

are you getting all this???

not only did He provide the class for me, but i was able to switch my other class so i only have to go into orlando two days a week instead of five.

i assume that today, was the big finale for them up there.
and i can't help but to think they were clapping once i put it all together like He intended.

when things are really hard, it's ok to admit that trusting God is tough. because it is.
unlike Him, we can't see what's going to happen in the future. and because we are humans, the first reaction is to freak.

but what i'm learning is that it can't keep happening.

i think i knew deep down that God would make a way for all this to work out for me. how could He not?

He created the universe, of course He could get me into this class. 

i think the most important thing is that i know all this happened because God is faithful and patient with me.

God saves us when we need Him. He's up there watching, so He never misses anything. we just have to trust in Him.

yes it's hard because unlike God, our patience is the size of a thimble. but i think if you're like me, and working on it, God will provide.

because He always does.

i'm thankful for a patient and providing God.

all my love, 

meg

say you'll be there

hey girls,
i'm hoping you had a wonderful weekend! mine seemed to go by really quickly, which is never a good thing.

i've been thinking a lot about friendships lately. maybe too much at 22 and married. and i've come down to the simple fact that: i expect way to much out of people.

and then i've had the thought that: wait, that's insane, no you don't.

so where's the happy medium?

over the last couple of years i've made some really incredible friendships...and i've also lost some along the way.
i've learned alot about what kind of friend i am to people, and what kind of friend i need.

it comes as no surprise to most of you when i say that growing up sucks. life keeps moving even if we aren't ready. which means we need people by our side to help us when things get really hard. but what do you do if the people who you want to be there...just aren't?
and worse, what if you had been there for them when they were in a time of need?

as humans we have the nature to be really selfish. to, at times, never take off our pity party hats for ourselves and take a look around us at the people who we love, to lend them some of our love. because that's what makes a great friendship: love.

there have been too many times for me to count over the last few months where i've found myself thinking: is it possible for her to think about me for two seconds and lay off complaining about her life? i've got so much more going on than her.

anyone else out there like that?

can i just insert here, that i'm in the middle of a really really tough season of my life.

the last couple of weeks have been really tough on our family, my father in law has to travel to nc for heart surgery.

so i've been really searching for my friends. and have been coming up short handed.

but i'm ok with that.

because of this beautiful truth:

so do not fear, for I am with you:

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

isaiah 41:10

it's not that my friends, and yours, don't care about me, and you. but at some point we have to (as adults...oh that ugly a word) to realize that they have busy lives too. they have things going on that need their attentions. and yes, maybe they might be selfish things, but there're 'things'. so why not rest contently with the Lord?

easier said than done i know.

God promises that He won't ever leave me or forsake me (deuteronomy 31:6), He promises that He'll always be with me (matthew 28:20). and so yes, my friends have come up short handed...but that's because no human can fulfill the need i have right now. because my need is for my heavenly father.

even though i get frustrated that i haven't been asked: hey meg, how are you in all this? doesn't mean they don't care. it's just giving me the opportunity to build a stronger trust in the Lord and fully depend on Him.

have a beautiful day.