Friday, July 19, 2013

go forward

i took an amazing influence network class by susie davis on hearing from God in every day life. something, before the class, i really struggled with.
i've always been the kind of girl who needs things to be very black and white. there's no grey area. and so when i heard people saying they "heard God speak" i figured it was His voice. clear as day. speaking like you can hear a friend on the telephone.


the thing is, that God sometimes speaks in the most unconventional ways. through music, maybe not even christian music, through nature, or people around us, blogs, facebook status updates...if i believe that He is every where, and in every thing, why didn't i believe He could speak through them.

at the end of the class susie told us to wake up in the morning with wonder, and tell God to speak to us.

and i didn't.
yep. no wake up and "speak to me Lord" conversation took place.

He just did it.

i just started reading the pursuit of God by a.w.tozer and the second chapter is titled, "the blessedness of possessing nothing". it's the sermon we've all heard before, have nothing and Jesus will give you every thing. but something clicked for me.
"the way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things."

soul poverty.
he writes about abraham and isaac. and the love abraham had for his son, and how much he held up his son. he references genesis 22:2 when God tells abraham to give his son up, the son he loves so much, as a burnt offering. abraham of course follows God's command, and in doing so, God does not take his son from him.
"now he was a man wholly surrendered, a man utterly obedient, a man who possessed nothing."
i wondered what i possessed. what lies in my heart that i just can't let God have.

i prayed. asking God to show me where i needed to let this all sink in. what was in my life that i need to let go.

this morning i prayed the quote above. longing for my soul to be deprived of anything that isn't God. asking Him to speak to me about what i need to let go of.

i was writing in my journal and then just started writing about the past. how i want to be free from it all. i want the things that have happened to me melt away with His grace. i need to let the people who used to be in my life go. let go of the bad feelings. the what if's or what could have's.

{thank you disney}

God was showing me that i needed to keep looking forward. that the past is done. i can't ever change it, nor will He ever change it. everything happened for a reason. the friends lost, the sins made, the arguments that were had. the yucky stuff no one likes to talk about. it's all in the past for a reason.

and so then i started on my she reads truth plan for the day and it was about lot's wife.
who God had saved from the burning city of sodom and gomorrah.
and all He instructed them to do was run from the city.
and don't look back.
"but lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt." genesis 19:26

in that moment i realized that God had been talking all morning to me. through the book, and His word, to she reads truth. all of it was Him.

telling me to not look back.

i'm thankful that God hasn't turned me into a pillar of salt for always looking back.
who knows what lot's wife turned back to see, but it doesn't matter because she disobeyed God.


every time i dwell on the past, i'm disobeying God.
not looking forward, not trusting in His path He's made for me.

and so.
i stop.

i won't be looking back again like lot's wife.
because really, there isn't anything to change.

i am thankful for a God who speaks to me through ten different ways, and has me put it all together.


Angela said...

Such a great lesson! I love that God can speak to us and through various methods. Nothing is more powerful than knowing in your heart that God is speaking to you... :)

Jessica L Martin said...

Hi friend! Just read this and this is truly what I needed to read. God spoke right through you directly to me. Thanks so much.
Love always, Jess

kristyn said...

amen girl. definitely guilty of dwelling in the past far too much. needed this reminder to trust God to look forward :) there are great things ahead, and any struggles we encounter, He'll be there. love getting signs like this!

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

This literally made me cry, it's so good. I love you.

Rebekah said...

I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you so much for writing these words that I needed to read!

With much love,

Kiki said...

I feel like I could write a comment for every sentence in this post--including that amazing Lion King quote!

First, God definitely speaks in unconventional ways. Now that I think about it, if God can speak to Moses through a burning bush, He's capable of speaking to us through things like music lyrics, too!

And I love your comparison of Abraham + Isaac. I know for a fact that I have things that I like to hold onto and not let God be in control of so it was nice to see this story through your eyes. It really adds more meaning to this story now!

Lastly, letting go and not looking back. She Reads Truth has been such a blessing to me right now (especially the series on women in the Word!) and I completely agree with you on having a tendency to dwell on the past. It's toxic and not worth my time!

Thank you for letting God speak through you to me. So grateful for you + your wise words, Megan! :)

Elizabeth said...

lion king is so much of a parallel of our walk with the Lord :) i love it!

Unknown said...

I love this post! Found your blog from Kiki's latest post. Looking forward to reading more :)


Elena Alice said...

Such a great post! Yes, God speaks to us in ways that we may deem "odd" or unconventional, but these are great reminders that He is far above our understanding. I had the same problem that you mentioned of being confused when I heard people say they "heard God speak". Well, I would think, why doesn't He speak to me? Am I not good enough?? And the enemy took this small thought and used it over and over to make me doubt God's love. "If He loved you, HE would talk to you", where the words in my mind. But i didn't realize until later that God really WAS speaking. I was just not listening because I was expecting to hear him in one way, but He was choosing to speak in a different way.

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