grace.

i've had some trouble lately with the whole, "she thinks this about me". it's been affecting the way i work, the way i think, the way i act.

i've been letting what others say about me dictate my life.
truly.

it's been nothing shy of tough, and i've let negative comments about one part of my life, trickle into other areas of my life {like photography}. last week there wasn't a single day i didn't come home from work in a terrible mood...or worse, end up crying to sonny about how bad my day was.

and then thursday came around.

i took jessi's influence network class on preaching the gospel and using our words.
the class was incredible.

i was sitting at my computer, nodding my head like one of those toy dogs in cars, soaking up all she had to say. the Lord had given her an amazing message to share.
and then it happened.

there was a little section to ask questions on.
towards the end of the class jessi started to answer them, and made sure not to say who they came from.
i guess if you took the class this is me outing myself ;)

i asked how she handled the negative things people said about her.
whether she heard them or not.

because that's the truth girls. whether we hear them or not. people have opinions of us that aren't always what we like.
last week at work i had heard so many of those opinions, and just felt like i was at the end of my rope.

i typed out the question, not expecting the Lord to ever move in me the way He did.

cause let's be honest. jessi is adorable. and anyone who has a bad thing to say about that girl is crayyzay.

so she read the question out loud.

and then simply said,
"it doesn't really matter what other people say about us.
because all of those negative things could be true.
i could be chubby. i could be mean. i could have a short temper. i could be a bad mom. i could be all of these things.
they all can be true.
but it doesn't change the fact that Christ still died for me."

i felt like a truck hit me.
the tears came flowing down my face, and for the first time in a really long time i could feel God's presence with me.

all i could think of was grace.

the grace that He covers me with day in and day out.
because jessi is right.
the negative things people say about me can be true. 
but it doesn't matter because Christ still died for me. 

He still loves me,
even though i get mean.
His grace covers me.
i finally got the lyrics, "if grace is an ocean we're all sinking."

and so i began to sink. with in 30 seconds, some one i had never met face to face helped the Lord relay one of the most important messages i will ever hear in my life.

the most important message any of us can ever hear.

and so friday {the very next day}, i attended a woman's conference.
the speaker, sheri rose shepherd was wonderful. she was all about dancing on the battlefield and leaving a legacy for our great great grandchildren to hear about.

there was so much packed into her first session that if i wasn't listening closely, i would have missed this.

she started to talk about how we need to accept the grace God offer's or we'll never be able to fully be alive in Christ.
she's right.
if we go day to day, constantly worried about what we did or what others think about us, we'll never get anywhere.

and then she said, "NO ONE IS THINKING ABOUT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU ARE."

i sat there wide eyed. and almost felt like a bolt of lightning was going to enter the auditorium and God would yell, "megan are you listening?!"

He promises are true.
His grace is enough for me.
no matter what other people say.

His grace is enough for all of us.

we live in a society where everyone is afraid to get up and dance because we're too worried about what other people will think about us.
they might figure out our flaws...which God Himself made. they might figure out that no, we don't have it all together.

and so this all got me thinking.

instead of letting the negatives sink in, and crying because people are mean to us.

why not use that opportunity to embrace those flaws, and dance it off?

grace is a beautiful thing.
it covers all the bad in me.
the grumpy me. the snotty me. the negative me. the me who complains. the me who takes things for granted.

covered.

we've got to start dancing more.
because if we do, people might start to notice.
that person who's always running their mouth might be right about you...but maybe, just maybe, if we start to turn the other way and not let it affect us, they might notice something different in us.
which is the point right?

we're supposed to be different.
standing out in crowds.

being like Jesus.

we i have to accept His grace more.
every day.

i need to remind myself that i am saved by His grace.

the verse below is my favorite. so much so that i got it tattooed on my body. some days i forget it's even there. so here's to remembering.

here's to daily reminding ourselves that we have a God who loves us more than life and covers us with His blanket of grace.