standing out

i think we're taught our whole lives on how to blend in. sure our clothes can make us stand out, or the color of our hair. but since grade school, we're taught by society how to be. 

lately i've been noticing how completely backwards everything is anymore. 

things that once were held so sacred, are now turning into a 72 day joke. 

ideas of things like family are now being thrown to the waste side because of not being careful. 

"old school" isn't just a term, it's a way of life that has since been forgotten. 

it worries me, really. 

i work in a restaurant, and have since i was fifteen, so i've seen a lot. some really great, but mostly bad. lives that could so be rocked by Jesus, but they never open up. lives that are desperately crying out for Him, but find refuge in something else. 

the other day at work a conversation got started about sex. 

if you've never worked in a restaurant this might come as a surprise, but i can promise you it happens daily. i usually laugh and turn my head, but this time got brought in. 

a friend of mine joked that it's better to "test the water before you jump in". it became a joke with other co-workers, and it quickly got turned into the "have you or haven't you" discussion. there's only two servers at my job who are married. i'm one of them. 

i responded joking that i didn't test the water before i jumped in. 

a co-worker laughed and called me "crazy" for not figuring that part out before i got married and asked why. 

"because sonny and i decided when we started dating that we weren't going to have sex."

she nodded and just laughed, "that's a bold move don't you think?" 

we laughed. 

another co-worker came around the corner and my friend said to them, "did you know megan didn't test out the water before she just jumped in?" {she explained what she was talking about}

and he laughed. "yea, it was the big talk in the back before she got married"

i looked up at him and smiled. 

i know it might be a stretch, but i feel like there's a reason he remembered that, or the fact that it was a big deal to people that i didn't have sex with my husband before we got married. 

i'm not perfect, and i sure don't try to be. but i'm proud of this moment. yes, i've made mistakes, i'm trying. and i think that's all the point. 

Jesus didn't fit in, He stuck out like a sore thumb. 

His life was far different then people around Him. He chose to be different when everyone else was doing the same thing. and the same goes for us. 

our lives weren't created to be the same as those around us. 

we were created to be lights in such dark places. 

i've got a lot of work to do when it comes to my job and being bold about Jesus, but i think these are the baby steps i've needed. 

it's ok to be different. 

to stick out for not testing the waters. 

for never going out to party. 

for missing the bar hoping. 

i'm ok with that. 

God has placed each of us in the lives we're in, for a reason. unknown at this time, most likely. but we're here for a reason. 

maybe i'm thinking way too much into that little comment, but it made me realize how "on display" our lives are as Christ followers. it might be the smallest thing to us, something so simple, but it could be huge to a non-believer. 

sometimes, i'm not quiet. i'm the loud one in the group, the one always needing to be in the conversation, to be heard. 

i'm learning how to not use words and just have my actions speak loud enough. 

the art of silence...i'm working on it. 

all my love, 

meg