there's no more classes, no more studying {ok, who am i kidding. i was never the studying type}, no more papers to write, no more books to read.
there's now time to clean my home.
and meal plan.
and find a routine.
and work.
and work out.
and figure out what this season is.
can i be honest?
this season just started and i'm already FREAKIN OUT MAN.
really. truly.
what if, what if what i think God is calling me to do isn't what He's really calling me to do? and what if i'm not paying attention to the signs He's giving me?
what if i'm not being still enough?
that's where i am right now.
i feel like wile e coyote when he hits a wall chasing the road runner.
it all stopped.
the same schedule i've had for the last eighteen years is done. finished. no more.
so now what?
good question my dear, and i have no idea.
but i will know.
soon enough i tell ya.
because i'm learning that i need to be still. and listen for what He's trying to tell me.
commitments need to be broken.
yep i said it.
schedules need to be made with the importance of time with Him.
days need to begin and end with Him.
in short, i'm trying to break the same schedule i've had since the 7th grade right now.
i've learned that i needed to say no to a couple things.
realized that my time right now, my number one priority right now, needs to be hearing from Him.
i'm in a season of listening.
i read this amazing post by ann voskamp and i'm trying to let that be a huge part of this season. i need more structured time with God, more time to plan my day, more moments to stop and pray, more things to write down as gifts.
i wrote down the 25 things she mentioned, and i can promise you that they are helping me already.
and then today.
i met with a beautiful friend about some things that were laying on my heart. she took them and gave me so much more encouragement.
and handed me a book called simple devotion.
this was on the second page:
"by "simple devotion," we mean a designated, devoted time where everything else stops and you lock away with God. we mean daily, private, personal prayer. simple devotion is about seeking God and feasting upon His word. it's about cultivating a relationship behind closed doors. it's about a rhythm of life that revolves around walking with God. it's about answering the radical call."
seeking God.
behind closed doors.
just me and God.
i'm pumped yo. i'm so ready for what God is going to do in my life you have no idea. i'm slow with the get go, but once i start moving, i get the hang of it pretty quickly.
i have no idea how this book is going to finish. could be terrible. but that paragraph alone spoke to me. and sometimes, that's all it takes.
all my love,
meg
5 comments:
I've been graduated for almost two years...wish I could say it got easier. ;) But this inbetween-y season is interesting. Full of ups & downs & freak out moments.
Being still is key...one of the books that's really been ministering to my heart, & only two days in, is Nancy Leigh DeMoss' devotional "Keep a Quiet Heart."
Here's a hug of support & understanding as we navigate this road called Life in the Lord who holds this season, & the ones in the future, in the palm of His hand. <3
Loved this post. I can totally relate, even though I'm still in college. This year, I wanted to start designating more time for God, but I sometimes think about if I'm doing enough, if I'm truly listening, or if I'm just making it easy for me.
But I think everyone has their own personal way to pray, reflect and be with God. I wish you all the luck in your new schedule and routine. And in your simple devotion. I can't wait to check out this book!
xo, gina
I love this- it's kinda how I feel too... except the opposite. I went from having tons of time in my church office to study scripture and pray but now I'm juggling school and work and trying to develop community... and my time with the Lord is what I allow to suffer- thank you for the reminder of how important this is!
beautiful, wise, amazing and true. Sharing a link to this post in my blog post tomorrow :)
I love you! And your writing...I love how you write in verse...can you tell I am in teacher mode? :)
I can not wait to see how much stronger and more beautiful you will emerge...and remember don't be too hard on yourself. You're heart is very much in the right place.
XOXO
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