Sunday, July 1, 2012

doing it backwards and some how getting it right

i'm the girl who did everything wrong.

i'm the girl who didn't save sex for marriage. 
i'm the girl who didn't save the words "i love you" for my husband.
i'm the girl who never spent anytime actively praying to God for my future husband. 

i was the girl who always had a boyfriend. it's a joke that i have a boyfriend before i could even talk. in middle school i had "i love ___" written on my hand daily, you insert a name. my dad used to tell me that if i didn't stop writing that on my hand i'd have to get it tattooed there.

i started out too young when it came to being physically involved with boys, and it only grew to be more and worse as the years went on.
in high school i had two loves.
i say loves because i am a firm believer in the fact that you will love many people in your life. but it's only the true love that will count.

both of these loves got things from me that i'll never get back, and both of them (i had thought at the time) were my future husbands.
crazy right, i was in 10th grade.

there are things about both relationships that i'm glad happened (especially the whole break up part), because i know that in the long run, i learned so much from them.

like these two truths:
#1-never date a boy that your parents don't like
#2-never plan your life around a boy

after high school i casually dated a lot. i mean a lot a lot. it never seemed like i was ever alone.

i moved to ohio for a couple of months back in 2008, and after loosing my grandpa and it being too cold, i moved home.

desperate to finally do life alone.

i had hit that i hate all boys wall in my life. i had decided that me and dating were breaking up. i was 20 years old and had wasted far too much of my life worrying about what boy liked me and what boy didn't.
i told God i was done. finished. no more dating.
i was going to come back to florida, get back in school full time, finish, go travel, and do all the other amazing things single women did.

and then sonny showed up.

sonny was a wooer. you know, he'd wooed me, bought me nice things. said nice things to me. opened up my car door. took me to dinner and didn't make me pay.
i was in shock.
you see, my track record with guys was no bueno.
i dated the losers who didn't have jobs. so i'd have to pay for dinner. i don't think i had ever had my door opened for me, and never did i receive a gift just because.

long story short, it was just too much. i wasn't used to being treated like the princess i deserved to be treated like.

sonny and i met the day before valentines day to break up with each other. sonny was picking up on the whole idea that i wasn't used to this kind of treatment and seemed like i didn't want it.

thank you Jesus for having other plans.

we talked for a while...he gave me chocolate (and not just any chocolate girls, MALLEYS chocolate)...and next thing i know, we're making plans for valentines day.

i know now, but had no idea back then, that God had ordained this marriage far before either of us were born. and we sure as heck were not about to mess it up.

if it wasn't for sonny, i have no idea where i'd be right now.

our dating period was so different than any before.
we went to church together and prayed together.
we decided very early on that being physical was not going to be a part of our relationship.
and very shortly after our almost break up chat, God began a huge work in the both of us.

i wish i had some amazing advice for anyone reading this about the whole marriage thing but i don't.

i can tell you's ok to mess up. it is. God didn't create a single one of us and think we'd ever go through life and never mess up. no one's perfect.

but i can tell you that sometimes you've got to put the gloves down and let God handle things in your life. because even on our best days, Gods plan is so much better than ours ever could be.

my relationship with Christ grew and grew when i met sonny. read more about that here.
and i thank God every day for bringing me such an incredible man to marry.

{me and my boo}

so here i am.
to my prince charming.
after doing everything backwards.
i still some how got it right.

my relationship with Christ right now, is the strongest it has ever been in my life.
there's just too much in my life to be thankful for to not love Him more and more each day. 
being married has helped my relationship with the Lord ten fold. i'm stronger in Him because i know the works He does in my life are for the best.
i'm trusting in Him more and more because, if He could deliver me from all the crap in my life that used to be and give me this marriage, He has nothing but amazing things planned for my life.

i'm not a marriage expert, no way.
but there are a couple things i can share about my relationship with God and sonny that have made this marriage work (a whole year and a half ;])

1. pray together
2. give thanks to God daily for your spouse
3. arguing is going to happen, don't think it wont. it's how you work through it that counts
4. just because your married does not mean you get to give up your alone time with God. find a place that is yours to be alone with Jesus
5. trust God about your future together
6. two words: date nights.

i've often thought about the fact that i never really got the whole single thing down. i don't think i had a whole year since 9th grade that i wasn't crushing on a boy. and i'm ok with that. some of us are just different, and that's ok.
i used to think it wasn't a good thing i was married so young, and never really having that single experience. and then i laugh because i realize that wasn't part of my plan. we're never told that we have to be single (or married for that matter) in the bible. it's all about the individual plans God has for our lives. 
no ones story is the same.

there always has to be the not so good girl in the group. i guess that could be me...or used to be me. i'm proud of the story i get to share because it leads to Jesus.

if you missed any of the other posts from this series (which have been amazing) go check them out. and a special thanks to my girl annie for hosting.

have a super week! i'm off to north carolina, see you all next weekend!

all my love, 


Allyson Butler said...

This is such a great post! Thank you so much for sharing your sweet heart with all of us. This is great advice, and I need to read things like this...especially with my wedding less than a year away!

Gennean said...

Your love story is truly such a testament to His redemptive and reconciling love for His children! He is so good to us, isn't he? I'm so glad that Sonny treats you like the princess that you ARE!!

Elisabeth @ La Vita e Bella said...

i love this - there is such an incredible strength and depth brought to a relationship when the Savior is involved :) beautifully written

Tara said...

There hasn't been a post I've liked this much in a while!! Thank you for sharing it!! So many blessings to you, girl!! :)

Annie said...

i love your story! Gennean took the words from my mouth - redemptive, absolutely, is the word to describe your story. thank you for sharing, Meg!

oh, and let's be real: i don't think even us single people ever get the "single thing" down. what even IS the single thing?! haha!

Holly said...

This is such a powerful, beautiful, wonderfully written post, Megan! Thank you for having the courage to share these thoughts with us. I can absolutely relate to MANY parts of your story, but I'm still waiting for my 'Sonny' to show up :)

P.S. If he bought you Malley's, then you KNOW he's a keeper ;)

Tiffany Miller said...

Love this post! So honest and humble! Have a mentioned that you are one of the first updates I read daily? I just love that your posts are REAL! I can tell you are human but at the same time that you are striving to live a life that honors God.

Keep it up my friend!

Ashley Shelley - The Christian Wife Life said...

Glory hallelujah amen.

This sounds like my story minus the moving away part haha. Praise the Lord for changing hearts and having a perfect plan.

Thank you for letting girls know that messing up doesn't mean all is lost - God uses broken people, not those who think they are "good"! And I'm so, so glad!

Love you & your story! :)

Tiffany said...

Thanks for sharing your story. It's encouraging to see how God redeemed who and placed you in a marriage He ordained from the beginning. Have fun in North Carolina!

Kerrie said...

great post Meg! I loved this series.

Erin said...

Oh friend, I am so glad you linked up for Albaze and I'm SO glad you shared this. Your honesty and openess is beautiful, I love your story and how God has used it for the best and brought you your dream man! Amazing :)
Love you SO MUCH TWIN!

Pretty lady said...

Oh my gosh, there is so much value in this story. You are an encouragement!

Nicole said...

I am beyond blessed by your boldness to share your story. Redemption. Such a beautiful thing. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about the ways the Lord has redeemed me. Oh, I could just jump up and down that your story, no matter how rocky, led to Jesus! We are blessed gals. So glad you shared.

Diana Amy said...

Thank you for your courage in sharing this raw, honest part of your love story. I relate to this story so much (minus the prince charming part - eh, all in God's time, right?) and feel blessed today having read it.

Chelsea said...

I am nowhere close to being married, or even engaged, but this was incredible encouraging for me to read. That it's okay to make mistakes, because even in the midst of those God still has good plans for us.

Jennifer said...

oh sweet megan. It may just be my hormones, but I cried reading this entire post. I thought back to our time in High School and I remember praying for you to experience God in a real way and know his love deep in your heart and not just on the surface level. I could not be happier for you and reading about how far God has brought you is just the best. :) I JUST finished writing a blog about God's plans before I read this and you nailed it on the head! Gods plan is SOOO much bigger than ours, and why would we want anything other than what God has planned for us?

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