day 24 {anger}

Ephesians 4: 26
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge.
And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

 

crap.

don’t stay angry.

crap.

don’t go to bed angry.

(do I have to say it again?)

don’t give the…devil that kind of foothold?

it’s hard though right, to not be angry when someone does you wrong. or does your family wrong?

right now I can think of at least five people I would put in the “I’m angry with you” category.

some, to be honest I’m really angry at.

these are people that treated me really poorly. these are people that I’ve seen do physical and mental damage to my family. these are people that have turned so far from who I though they were, it’s hard to recognize them.

and I’ve tried really hard to forgive them. I’ve gotten to the point that I’ve convinced myself that I have “forgiven them” but I haven’t moved passed all the wrong they’ve done me.

but how do I move on?

how does one move past being angry, give people forgivness and move on…I have no idea.

I know the verse: “and whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive them, that your father in heaven may also forgive you” (Mark 11:25)

but it’s so hard to apply to myself.

because of course those who I’m angry at have done far worse to me than anyone else has done to another. I have ligitimate reasons to be angry.

except, that I’m dead wrong.

so beyond wrong it isn’t even funny.

forgivness is something I struggle with a lot. that list of people hasn’t grown in the last year (thank God) but it hasn’t gotten any smaller either which is just as worse. I struggle with letting the bad thoughts about people escape my mind. I keep all the bad memories in a box in my brain.

I’ve given one up to God.

but I’ve still got a bunch more to go.

I wish I could be writing about how forgivness works. but I think it’s one of those things as a Christian that we just have to give up to God. and I’m not even sure how that works because I’m still hanging on to some things.

and then I read a verse like this: the devil has a strong hold on an area of my life?

so no…I’m not perfect.

crap.

don’t go to bed angry?

maybe it’s not that I think about those people right before I go to bed and get angry…but if the anger is in my heart, how else am I supposed to get rid of it?

give it to God.

it’s easier to type than do I can tell you that.

I’m a captive by my anger. it’s something that’s really holding me back from my full potential with God.

that took a lot to type.

I think sometimes I get to caught up in the “glamor” end of being a Christ follower. but this is the ugly side that is rearing it’s head once again and I’ve got to do something about it.

beth moore says that “a christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abounded and effective spirit-filled life God planned for her”.

stopping the captivity starts with surrendering it all to God.

so in my attempt to surrender (it all) I’m going to study the book Breaking Free by beth moore (quote above is from the book) in my online bible study.

I’ve read it once before but I don’t think I got it all out. yes there was that that moment on the beach with the tears. and that helped…kinda. but I feel like since I’ve added people to that list I’m not getting it. and I need to get it and be gone with it.

for those of you who are going to join me on this journey I can not wait to share it with you! there’s a lot more I need to get out of this book and that’s why (I think) God has placed it into my lap.

challenge: if you’re struggling with giving something to God, I pray you’ll enter into our online bible study. email me meganw122@yahoo.com

God we know that You are the only One who can mend our broken hearts. I pray God that You use this book to get to us. mess up our lives God because that’s what we want. and I pray for those who just need to feel Your love God, I pray that You’ll send Your Holy Spirit on them God and comfort them.
amen.