Monday, August 15, 2011

say you'll be there

hey girls,
i'm hoping you had a wonderful weekend! mine seemed to go by really quickly, which is never a good thing.

i've been thinking a lot about friendships lately. maybe too much at 22 and married. and i've come down to the simple fact that: i expect way to much out of people.

and then i've had the thought that: wait, that's insane, no you don't.

so where's the happy medium?

over the last couple of years i've made some really incredible friendships...and i've also lost some along the way.
i've learned alot about what kind of friend i am to people, and what kind of friend i need.

it comes as no surprise to most of you when i say that growing up sucks. life keeps moving even if we aren't ready. which means we need people by our side to help us when things get really hard. but what do you do if the people who you want to be there...just aren't?
and worse, what if you had been there for them when they were in a time of need?

as humans we have the nature to be really selfish. to, at times, never take off our pity party hats for ourselves and take a look around us at the people who we love, to lend them some of our love. because that's what makes a great friendship: love.

there have been too many times for me to count over the last few months where i've found myself thinking: is it possible for her to think about me for two seconds and lay off complaining about her life? i've got so much more going on than her.

anyone else out there like that?

can i just insert here, that i'm in the middle of a really really tough season of my life.

the last couple of weeks have been really tough on our family, my father in law has to travel to nc for heart surgery.

so i've been really searching for my friends. and have been coming up short handed.

but i'm ok with that.

because of this beautiful truth:

so do not fear, for I am with you:
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
isaiah 41:10

it's not that my friends, and yours, don't care about me, and you. but at some point we have to (as adults...oh that ugly a word) to realize that they have busy lives too. they have things going on that need their attentions. and yes, maybe they might be selfish things, but there're 'things'. so why not rest contently with the Lord?

easier said than done i know.

God promises that He won't ever leave me or forsake me (deuteronomy 31:6), He promises that He'll always be with me (matthew 28:20). and so yes, my friends have come up short handed...but that's because no human can fulfill the need i have right now. because my need is for my heavenly father.

even though i get frustrated that i haven't been asked: hey meg, how are you in all this? doesn't mean they don't care. it's just giving me the opportunity to build a stronger trust in the Lord and fully depend on Him.

have a beautiful day.


annie said...

megan, this definitely hits home for me. my expectations for others are so high (even though i know i probably couldn't meet them myself!). you're right, though: our dependence need to be on someone bigger. (p.s. -- i'll be praying for your father-in-law this week!)

The Soul Anchor said...

This is something I've been pondering myself lately. I often feel like my friendships aren't as strong as I like, and I can tend to take it very personally when I'm let down. But I do agree with you -- I think because friends are tangible and visible, it's easy for me to substitute relying on them for relying on God.

Christina said...

I am struggling with this as well and have been for a while. It's so difficult to let relationships go and trust in the Lord. I have a post I'm getting ready to publish about the same thing. Stay strong friend!

Annie said...

oh, girl: so true. i've been wrestling with this what seems like my entire life. i have felt like all the situations i've had with friends have been orchestrated to point me back to the fact that God alone is who i need. and sometimes, the way He chooses to demonstrate that really hurts, but it doesn't make Him any less loving, or any less good.

i think high expectations from your friends is good. i think the balance comes in expecting as much or more of yourself as a friend. i've tried to seek that balance, and hope i have succeeded at least some of the time in attaining it.

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