creativity.

i've never really thought of myself as a creative kind of person. when i was little i used to draw a lot, but the older i got, the farther i strayed from any artistic kind of thing i could. i'm not super crafty, it takes a while. i can't thrift, i just don't do well. i'm not a super decorator, in fact, my living room looks like we just moved in because it's so bare without christmas decorations. i'm not musical. at all, not even in the slightest. 

if you haven't caught on yet, if there was one thing i wouldn't classify myself as, it would be an artist. and a creative one at that. 

i found the picture above on pinterest this morning, and it really spoke to my heart (the Word tends to do that). 

i am struggling with this whole being done with college thing. for the last eighteen years (took the five year plan) i've done nothing but school. and work, but mostly school. my week was based around classes, my stress was from procrastination. and now. 

well, now i'm done with college. 

i almost laughed at all the pour souls who updated their statuses this week about having to go back to school...and then reality set in. 

i felt like i was being yelled at: "IT'S TIME TO GROW UP NOW MEGAN. GET A REAL JOB YOU BUM".

ok, maybe that wasn't really what anyone said, but it's totally what i've been thinking. you finish college, you get a job. you make babies, you raise them, you get old, you retire, you travel. 

can you see why i've been a bit panicked? 

it's like all the things i've waited for through school are finally here. 

and they are freaking me out. 

i have no five year plan. no long term anything going on right now. just waiting. 

and waiting on tables in the mean time. 

all the cool kids do that after college, right?

as i read this verse this morning, something inside of me clicked. God? is that you?

photography is art. every time i take a picture, i'm being creative. what i see through the lens is what i am trying to capture, my work of art. 

i'm realizing that just because someone calls themselves and "artist" doesn't mean it only includes those who pick up a paint brush on a daily basis. it's people who sing, or dance, or write music. take pictures, or spray paint. 

so i guess...i'm an artsy kind of person after all. 

i feel like God has thrown this photography thing into my lap and i can't even begin to explain to you how thankful i am for it. 

but i just doubt myself. 

am i really "growing up" to be a photographer? 

am i good enough to do that?

satan is a crappy person who likes to make me doubt myself. 

and sometimes that happens. 

but God, the God who created the Universe, always is here to pick me up when those feelings come flooding. it comes in a sweet comment on a picture, an email to do a session, or just that really good feeling inside that i'm doing the right thing. 

because man have i been waiting to figure out what my "right thing" is supposed to be. 

i know i have a lot to learn about the business and how to take better pictures. but i'm being creative in a way that i love. 

passion and hobby turned into a living? um, yes please?

i'm getting passed that scared.to.admit.i.want.to.be.a.photographer stage, and actually coming out and saying it when i'm asked. 

"so now that you're done, what are your plans?"

"i've started my own photography business and God is going to bless it abundantly"

i have got to take responsibility for the creativeness in my own life, the creativeness that God created me to have. we all do. 

maybe creative will be my word for the year?

do you have a word for the year? any exciting plans for 2013?

if you're like me and giggle at anything "artsy fartsy", that's ok. because that may never be the artsy people we'll be. but finding that creativity that God gave us is a must. and showcasing it! 

happy tuesday. 

all my love, 

meg