Monday, October 31, 2011

day 31 {getting real}

Ephesians 4:32
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

of course this had to be the verse for today.

so I had this great post made up in my head on how I’d reflect back on these last 31 days and how amazing they’ve been.

but I’m not.

because mostly, I’m disappointed in myself.

I’m upset that I didn’t study this book more.

to be honest, these 31 days were tough. blogging everyday (or just about) seemed like a great idea, but girl, I’m tired. even when it comes to His Word I’m still tired.

some days felt forced.

which is why I’m not even going to try and fake it tonight.

I struggle with forgiveness like you wouldn’t believe. it’s something I’ve always had trouble with.
and something I haven’t quite settled with God.

because it’s hard letting all those bitter feelings go.

I had thought I let most of them go against one person…who I had vowed to never see again in my life…and guess who I saw tonight?

needless to say my brain is mush right now, and for that I’m really sorry.

I need to make this all right with God. and that’s going to take a while.

so could you pray for me?

it’s crazy to think that all the stupid stuff I’ve done, Christ has forgiven me for it, and I can’t seem to forgive this one person. or group of people to be honest.

it’s really hard getting so real.

on a happier note, we started our bible study, and although we had major issues, it made my night so much better.

so on this last day of the 31 days of blogging…I want you to know that all your comments have truly brighten my days. and I have enjoyed going through this book so much with you. but now I need to read it all over again and slow down.

I have a lot to learn.

humility can be so terrible at times can’t it.

I hope you all had a safe halloween!

so many blessings to you loves!


The Soul Anchor said...

I hear you. I struggle to forgive. Well, I guess what the issue is that needs forgiveness, but there's some people in my life that I just wrestle with anger and bitterness towards to this day. It is HARD. And fighting through the process is exhausting. I think that's why I cling so much to grace, because I know I need it.

Delaney said...

I am so bummed i missed our bible study! I couldn't get home in time. But I love you! and I love this post. And I love your realness. I am praying for you right now. love you :)

Jennifer Rod said...

i know the feeling. forgiveness is hard, but cking to grace like the comment on top says, and you'll come through. blessings.

Annie said...

forgiveness is so, so hard. i'm still struggling with forgiveness in some aspects of my life, and it's tough.

i'm so, so excited for our bible study!

OdomKt said...

It's better to know what your faults are and address them with God then to pretend everything is hunky dorey. I'm very proud if you for getting all these girls together, if it wasn't for the bible study we would have never met probably and that just makes me sad because I know we were all meant to be in one another's lives :) you are a strong woman of God.

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